Sex Sex as Joy, Sex as Sensation Sex as Love
I am going to talk about love and sex and sensuality.
Many of us Baby Boomers grew up indoctrinated by religion, society, family, our peers to eschew premarital sex. We were taught that the ideal was to be a Virgin still when you entered marriage. My mother, didn't necessarily care. Many of my Baptist friends did. The fact that my mother was divorced and remarried, to my Baptist peers in 1974 was probably sinful and somewhat scandalous. I didn't argue with them. I just looked at them as if they had two heads.
When I started college, my college roommate was a curvy 5'5" H.S. swimmer and scuba diver. She had two boyfriends, one she ended up marrying when she was a College Sophomore. An active Baptist, she and I attended multiple Baptist Services whose Sermons, always preached by rotund middle aged men, centered around the "sins of the flesh". My roommate would sit beside me, holding the hand of her lover, serenely absorbing this message intended, primarily, it seemed for wanton women. I, however, a virgin, whose greatest sin was intense french kissing, and a touch or two of my minimal breasts, would listen in increasing anger and resentment. This was not my denomination. Mine was Episcopalian, which lost members each time they expanded the priesthood. First to women, then to the LGBTQ candidates. Sex for Episcopalians was never addressed, at least in sermons, not as a sin, or at all.
I dated a ton in college. Me, a 5'8" tall 110 pound H.S. graduate, who had a grand total of one date with a chubby trumpet player in high school, with an obligatory kiss at the end of the date. Then, I was raped during the Spring of my Senior year. I had fallen in love in the fall. Been dumped at the beginning of the Spring semester.
I stopped. I stopped caring about protecting my "virtue". I allowed myself to pursue sexual gratification with random men, usually emotionally unsatisfactory one night stands. I continued this pattern into the Peace Corps. I would flip flop between allowing myself to engage in sex, or withholding for some emotional attachment to be reached, culminating in a failed relationship with a Golden God from Denmark.
When I returned home, I continued this pattern. Attracted to handsome self-involved bad boys who were only interested in self-gratification and not emotional relationships. I gravitated slowly towards sweeter and nicer men, till I met my future husband, a virgin who gave me my first orgasm, lol!
So. Long story to get to this. True love is neither given nor taken. What has been done to us is neither love nor sex. It is about power, self-gratification and control over others. Often, it is about pain or damage or hurting something the perpetrator craves, but is unable to understand or share in the way the Creator meant. In carrying out these acts on our most private parts and most intimate souls they damage our ability to enjoy and share in intimacy. But we did not give. They took, not understanding what the true value of physical and emotional love ❤️ is.
True love like good sex is shared. It is enjoyed together. If done right, it is joyful, adventurous and playful. And here is the secret. It isn't sexuality that is important, it is SENSUALITY. It is knowing what your body wants and can do. It is joy in the life you feel surging through your body from your fingertips to the top of your head, to the tips of your toes. It is the feel of heavy silk or plush velvet as it slides along your naked skin or brushes your nipples and navel. It is the sound that you hear and they way that you walk when you wear stilettos, or the soft pad of your bare feet across hard marble and plush rug. There is extreme power in knowing and engaging in the senses. The sound of the saxophone, the wind chime, the wind. The scent of perfume at your pulse points. The low laugh at your pleasure, the smooth move of your body. Take it back. This is shared. This is pleasure. This is sensuality as it is meant to be. This is not being a certain weight or height. This is knowing yourself, allowing yourself pleasure in sensation, in sharing that pleasure. This was the intent of the creator. To find joy in yourself and to share joy with your lover. This is your true Super Power. Namaste
I am going to talk about love and sex and sensuality.
Many of us Baby Boomers grew up indoctrinated by religion, society, family, our peers to eschew premarital sex. We were taught that the ideal was to be a Virgin still when you entered marriage. My mother, didn't necessarily care. Many of my Baptist friends did. The fact that my mother was divorced and remarried, to my Baptist peers in 1974 was probably sinful and somewhat scandalous. I didn't argue with them. I just looked at them as if they had two heads.
When I started college, my college roommate was a curvy 5'5" H.S. swimmer and scuba diver. She had two boyfriends, one she ended up marrying when she was a College Sophomore. An active Baptist, she and I attended multiple Baptist Services whose Sermons, always preached by rotund middle aged men, centered around the "sins of the flesh". My roommate would sit beside me, holding the hand of her lover, serenely absorbing this message intended, primarily, it seemed for wanton women. I, however, a virgin, whose greatest sin was intense french kissing, and a touch or two of my minimal breasts, would listen in increasing anger and resentment. This was not my denomination. Mine was Episcopalian, which lost members each time they expanded the priesthood. First to women, then to the LGBTQ candidates. Sex for Episcopalians was never addressed, at least in sermons, not as a sin, or at all.
I dated a ton in college. Me, a 5'8" tall 110 pound H.S. graduate, who had a grand total of one date with a chubby trumpet player in high school, with an obligatory kiss at the end of the date. Then, I was raped during the Spring of my Senior year. I had fallen in love in the fall. Been dumped at the beginning of the Spring semester.
I stopped. I stopped caring about protecting my "virtue". I allowed myself to pursue sexual gratification with random men, usually emotionally unsatisfactory one night stands. I continued this pattern into the Peace Corps. I would flip flop between allowing myself to engage in sex, or withholding for some emotional attachment to be reached, culminating in a failed relationship with a Golden God from Denmark.
When I returned home, I continued this pattern. Attracted to handsome self-involved bad boys who were only interested in self-gratification and not emotional relationships. I gravitated slowly towards sweeter and nicer men, till I met my future husband, a virgin who gave me my first orgasm, lol!
So. Long story to get to this. True love is neither given nor taken. What has been done to us is neither love nor sex. It is about power, self-gratification and control over others. Often, it is about pain or damage or hurting something the perpetrator craves, but is unable to understand or share in the way the Creator meant. In carrying out these acts on our most private parts and most intimate souls they damage our ability to enjoy and share in intimacy. But we did not give. They took, not understanding what the true value of physical and emotional love ❤️ is.
True love like good sex is shared. It is enjoyed together. If done right, it is joyful, adventurous and playful. And here is the secret. It isn't sexuality that is important, it is SENSUALITY. It is knowing what your body wants and can do. It is joy in the life you feel surging through your body from your fingertips to the top of your head, to the tips of your toes. It is the feel of heavy silk or plush velvet as it slides along your naked skin or brushes your nipples and navel. It is the sound that you hear and they way that you walk when you wear stilettos, or the soft pad of your bare feet across hard marble and plush rug. There is extreme power in knowing and engaging in the senses. The sound of the saxophone, the wind chime, the wind. The scent of perfume at your pulse points. The low laugh at your pleasure, the smooth move of your body. Take it back. This is shared. This is pleasure. This is sensuality as it is meant to be. This is not being a certain weight or height. This is knowing yourself, allowing yourself pleasure in sensation, in sharing that pleasure. This was the intent of the creator. To find joy in yourself and to share joy with your lover. This is your true Super Power. Namaste
